Alameda Brew Pub off of Fremont has a secret. Actually they have several secrets, some they want you to know about and some they definitely do not. It being Ash Wednesday and all let's start with the positive.
Alameda's Beer is really good. And I'm not talking about the way a cold Pacifico rocks because of all the rad memories you have of your 96' spring break either. I mean it's really good.
The organic IPA is one of Portland's, and dare I write it, the PNW's best kept secrets. It has the multiple layers you find yourself looking for in great IPA's. The initial hoppy spark where you say, 'Ok, now keep it coming', followed by the subtle hint of fruit and malt, and finally that third layer that distinguishes great IPA's from well, not great ones; the dry dry happy finish lingering there on your tongue.
'That is a good IPA..' I said, and I meant every last, white-boy word of it.
Alameda also has a great Stout, the Black Bear, and it's great for when your feeling a lil' grumpy and down in the dumps; I drank 3 of them after my bad day last week. Never mind I gained 6 pounds instantly and could barely find the sidewalk to walk home. I killed my bad mood with a Black Bear. Thank you Black Bear!
They also brew a nice Gold Lager and a great Barleywine. Though I have a tendency to feel ripped off with Barleywines because the small glass mandate. Come on, I'm a grown up, fill me up jerks!
I understand though, at 9.5% alcohol it's virtually like communion wine and all we get to do at church is get a bread dippings worth, and the breads not even that good. People tell me I'm missing the point, but someday I think it would be great to review churches communion win
So back to Alameda's other secrets, the bad ones. Here's the first one: The owners have no intention of making your experience there anything but grating, hence you have to get to beer number 2 before you can begin to relax. The music plays just at that recognition level where you can't ignore it. What decibel number is that? 70, 80?
And you know, music is an integral part of restaurants and pubs, right? How many times have you been in a McMenamins and heard Elliot Smith? Radio Head? It doesn't bother you, it's actually part of the experience. But when I hear the 'Greatest Worst Hit's of all Time' over and over again, I can't take it. Unacceptable.
What am I talking about? Dig it.
I actually heard Styx, 'domo arrigato mister roboto'. True Story. I've heard every Van Halen album ever produced, including all the B-sides. Elton John, Paula Abdul. 'Candy Pants' by Lionel Richards. Linkin Park. Prince (I know it's debatable..but on repeat?!), and yes, Ruben Studdard of American Idol fame.
You get the idea.
I wrote a note to the management about the music and just how distracting it was to sit in there and try to have a conversation over Stevie Wonder singing 'Work Out'. Argh. The place already looks like a prep school cafeteria with whale bones stacked everywhere.
A month later I revisited, and damn if nothings changed. The official explanation was their clientèle consists of baby boomer's and this is what they want to hear. Really? This is what they want to hear? Well, alright then. No wonder the world is in such shambles.
